In Memory of Stephen Greer

There are people on this planet that have dedicated their lives to making the lives of others better. I was blessed enough to have met such an individual and just recently, the earth lost him. When I was a Senior in High School I was handed the phone number of a track and field coach. Little did I know, that that moment would change my life.
Stephen Greer was the head track & field coach at Contra Costa College. He was also the head guidance counselor on campus. We worked together daily for two years on and off the track. In both roles he went so far beyond the job descriptions, that these titles alone don't do him justice.

On top of the shock and sadness that came with accepting the loss of someone I care about, I'm flooded with the memories and lessons that I learned from a great man and mentor. He was the epitome of my definition of what a Man of Substance is and as I continue on this journey towards bettering myself and inspiring others to do the same, I'm grateful to have such a great example of what that looks like and I pray that I can touch even a fraction of the number of lives that he did.
To those who want to make a positive impact on this world, (including myself) I write this advice for us:
Don't short change the impact you are destined to make because you are afraid to face the issues in your own past. Your wise words and advice may reach the ears of some, but how you live and love will reach the core of many more. For a coach and counselor, Coach Greer didn't really say much, but he listened intently and calmly delivered an impeccably timed nudge pushing you to answer the question yourself. Who he was spoke louder than any advice he could give. As a young man that was still developing my definition of and respect for self, Greer was someone who made me want to make the right decisions so that I didn't disappoint him. We all at times need someone to believe in us when we fail to do so ourselves. I'm thankful for the people like Coach Greer who were there during those weak moments and encouraged me to press on.
The journey towards your best self is like climbing Mount Everest in many ways:

• It's a long process with many setbacks
• It's not a sprint. It's a marathon
• Very few have ever reached the epitome of this journey
• Those who have reached the mountain's peak understand that it's their responsibility to reach back and help others

While I still feel that I'm far from the top, I wrote this in memory of a man who over twenty years ago saw something in me that I didn't yet see in myself. Rest in peace, Coach Greer, knowing that you planted thousands of seeds on fertile ground and that the impact you've left on this world could not be washed away. There are people on this planet that have dedicated their lives to making the lives of others better. If you've been blessed enough to have met such an individual, pass on the blessing.

MOS Panel Defining Man

Let's talk about what it means to be a man. In our first ever Men of Substance Panel discussion our goal was to define what a spiritual man is to us. One of my English teachers taught me, that we should always define the noun before the adjective, so at the root of the issue is, what does it mean to be "a man". Many definitions were presented. Most of us were in agreement. The fact is, we all develop our definitions of the undefinable based on our own story, made up of our experiences, dreams, teachings, surroundings...etc. A part of the definition that I was surprised to hear echo in the voices of so many men who looked like me, was the word ego. I think as a collective of men, we were all there that day to put aside our egos, let down our guards and get to know we we actually are.

So, as a group of men, with egos checked at the door, we dove into a conversation focused on defining what being a man meant to us. I heard stories of father figures, grand fathers, neighborhood idols, and some from those who were lost, trying to figure it out on their own. The cards had been dealt and each one of us was just trying to play the hand received the best we could. There was no better or worse scenario. There was acceptance of what was and a relief that sharing part of yourself wouldn't negate who you are as a whole.

We walked out of that room that afternoon as better men. The surface has been scratched and we are excited to continue the journey towards healthy men of color through conversation and building up what we lack and tearing down the things that  hold us back (I truly had no intention of rhyming when I started that sentence) from being who we were destined to be.

As founder of Men of Substance, I humbly adopt the responsibility to create space and time for those on the journey towards their crowns to be supported and educated. The journey is never easy, but it doesn't have to happen alone.

Join us at our monthly Men of Substance panel discussions. Follow us on IG: @menofsubstancemag to stay updated on upcoming events and topics. We look forward to helping you on your journey.